Nikhil is coming along really well with his "schoolwork" (pre-Kindergarten activity books). Today we were learning about opposites, and one of the examples was a pretty princess and an ugly witch. Out of the blue, Nikhil says "Mommy, if you eat all your food, you'll grow up into a pretty lady one day." Amused, I asked him what I am now, ugly or pretty? "Not ugly, and not pretty, just nice." Not so amused anymore.
I asked him if Ariane is pretty, and he confidently said yes. So I asked who else is pretty? "Malissa is pretty! One day, when you're pretty like Malissa, I'll say, Oh I love you Mommy!"
The funniest part was watching Brad trying to salvage my feelings.
Ariane is saying a few more words, like Duck (she really does love birds), and G'bye. She's started biting Nikhil, though. If he has something she wants, she bites him. If he takes something she has, she bites him. If I take something away from her, she bites Nikhil!
In happier news, Nikhil's verbal skills are progressing quite gratifyingly. Today he told me, "When Ariane grows up into a lady she won't bite me anymore. But at the moment, she's still a baby, and she doesn't know any better." I was quite impressed - I certainly didn't tell him that. He's still trying to figure out exactly what a husband is, though. Today he told me he was going to the park with his husband - being Brad.
We took the kids to Toys R Us because Nikhil wouldn't stop asking for a lawnmower to "lawn the mow". We found a cute one that blows bubbles, but he only wanted the one with a choke to start the motor. He threw one of those "Whose kid is that?" tantrums because we wouldn't buy him a huge motorised tractor, and then he saw the golf clubs... In the end, we gave him a choice between the golf clubs, the lawnmower and a tricycle (because Ariane was getting a ride-on), and he chose the golf clubs. He LOVES golf - on the way home he told us all about how his grandfather taught him how to play golf but he's in South Africa now...
Anyway, it didn't stop him crying for the lawnmower once we got home. Or fighting with Ariane over the ride-on. That's a lesson in making choices and living with the consequences.
We're still waiting patiently for the day the kids can put themselves to bed and sleep through the night. At 14 months and nearly 3 years old, I fear we may have missed our window of opportunity...
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanksgiving
We've been adopted by the Johnsons, Malissa's family. We spent Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's house today.
We were invited to attend The Stuffing of the Turkey early in the morning. It was a 19lb turkey, almost the size of Ariane.
The Stuffing actually started about 3 days previously, when the turkey was taken out to defrost. This morning, the Johnsons prepared great-grandma Johnson's original recipe turkey stuffing, with much squelching and squeezing. (I got the recipe! This confirms that I'm family!)
Once the stuffing was declared perfect, it was stuffed into the turkey with a respectable amount of huffing and puffing.
Finally it was all sewn together with the requisite pulling and tugging, and then basted with melted butter.
(That's Malissa's mom - now you know where Malissa got her good looks!)
Finally the turkey was wrapped cosily in foil and tucked into the oven for five hours. Coincidentally, that's about as long as Ariane sleeps before she wakes for the first time at night. Hmm...
Later in the afternoon, we returned to the Johnson's to the delicious aroma of a perfectly roasted turkey. We indulged in a feast that was satisfyingly traditional, yet not sickeningly rich. Succulent turkey (I expected dry!), flavourful stuffing, the most buttery orange sweet potatoes (no marshmallow topping, thank goodness!), tart cranberry sauce, fluffy mashed potatoes... Crisp salad of baby spinach, nuts and cranberries... And of course, pumpkin pie to end it all off. Just perfect.
Oh, yes, and Jell-o and cream with the main course... Still trying to figure that one out.
I'm now infatuated with orange sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie - they're plaguing my brain like a teenage crush. I can't wait to see them again (apologies to Miley Cyrus).
The Johnsons have the perfect grandparents' house - it's full of interesting pictures and ornaments to intrigue little minds (and fingers!) as well as an attic full of toys that make their way into the living room. Best of all, it's owned by smiling indulgent parents of four, who say "Oh, let him have another helping of dessert!" and bounce children around, making silly noises. Grandparents are the same all over the world.
I explained the concept of gratitude to Nikhil, and asked him what he was thankful for. His answer: "Umm, smoke detectors and air conditioners... and stuff." Well, I suppose that's a fair answer. With some encouragement, he conceded that he is also grateful for gumball machines and Halloween and Mom, but what about Dad? "Hmm... ye-es, but sometimes he makes me cross!" Mommy's boy.
And what about my Thanksgiving list? I'm grateful that we are finally here, after years of planning and praying. I'm grateful for sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. I'm grateful for friends who keep you afloat when you think you might drown. I'm grateful for adoptive families. And I'm grateful that I have a real family to miss as much as I do.
We were invited to attend The Stuffing of the Turkey early in the morning. It was a 19lb turkey, almost the size of Ariane.
The Stuffing actually started about 3 days previously, when the turkey was taken out to defrost. This morning, the Johnsons prepared great-grandma Johnson's original recipe turkey stuffing, with much squelching and squeezing. (I got the recipe! This confirms that I'm family!)
Once the stuffing was declared perfect, it was stuffed into the turkey with a respectable amount of huffing and puffing.
Finally it was all sewn together with the requisite pulling and tugging, and then basted with melted butter.
(That's Malissa's mom - now you know where Malissa got her good looks!)
Finally the turkey was wrapped cosily in foil and tucked into the oven for five hours. Coincidentally, that's about as long as Ariane sleeps before she wakes for the first time at night. Hmm...
Later in the afternoon, we returned to the Johnson's to the delicious aroma of a perfectly roasted turkey. We indulged in a feast that was satisfyingly traditional, yet not sickeningly rich. Succulent turkey (I expected dry!), flavourful stuffing, the most buttery orange sweet potatoes (no marshmallow topping, thank goodness!), tart cranberry sauce, fluffy mashed potatoes... Crisp salad of baby spinach, nuts and cranberries... And of course, pumpkin pie to end it all off. Just perfect.
Oh, yes, and Jell-o and cream with the main course... Still trying to figure that one out.
I'm now infatuated with orange sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie - they're plaguing my brain like a teenage crush. I can't wait to see them again (apologies to Miley Cyrus).
The Johnsons have the perfect grandparents' house - it's full of interesting pictures and ornaments to intrigue little minds (and fingers!) as well as an attic full of toys that make their way into the living room. Best of all, it's owned by smiling indulgent parents of four, who say "Oh, let him have another helping of dessert!" and bounce children around, making silly noises. Grandparents are the same all over the world.
I explained the concept of gratitude to Nikhil, and asked him what he was thankful for. His answer: "Umm, smoke detectors and air conditioners... and stuff." Well, I suppose that's a fair answer. With some encouragement, he conceded that he is also grateful for gumball machines and Halloween and Mom, but what about Dad? "Hmm... ye-es, but sometimes he makes me cross!" Mommy's boy.
And what about my Thanksgiving list? I'm grateful that we are finally here, after years of planning and praying. I'm grateful for sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. I'm grateful for friends who keep you afloat when you think you might drown. I'm grateful for adoptive families. And I'm grateful that I have a real family to miss as much as I do.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The modern family unit
I just realised what a strange sight we must make when we go out as a family. Yesterday at the mall, Brad was walking ahead pushing both kids in the double stroller, as I trailed behind, gulping in all the new sights, sounds and smells on offer. (How do men do that - walk into a new mall in a new city, new COUNTRY, and walk straight to a pre-determined spot, without slowing down to take in all the details and nuances of the fashion, decor, quality of the new place?)
So there Brad was, wearing his Mr. Mom t-shirt to boot, and it dawned on me that we have a pretty strange family at the moment. Our roles are fluid and undefined - we're both caregivers, both home makers, both decision makers. I'm the breadwinner, he's the one who does the grocery shopping, and yet the power hasn't shifted. That's probably because it was pretty balanced in the first place. We're both focused on achieving the life we've envisioned, and it doesn't matter who baths the kids and who brings in the paycheck.
Still, being the mom and the working parent has its unique challenges. We're taking turns putting Nikhil to bed at night, because I do need to study (and putting Nikhil to bed takes an hour). He's having trouble accepting it - he says he wants me to put him to bed every night, and it tears my heart out. I feel so guilty for being firm with him, even though I know my alternate contribution to the family is essential.
I still worry that the kids won't be ok if I'm not around - that Brad will forget to feed and water them, or change Ariane's nappy, or whatever, despite all previous evidence that he is actually the more attentive caregiver. Brad suggested I spend the day at the library tomorrow, studying, and my first reaction was, "But will you be ok with the kids?" Um, that's his full-time job from now on...
Travelling here was also more challenging, compared to having the dad as the working parent. We're not the first family to have done it, but things are so much simpler for working dads. They travel alone first, sleep on the plane, and sort out the admin unencumbered when they arrive. They sleep off the jet lag undisturbed, albeit in a crappy hotel. Then they drive around (on the other side of the road) with no-one to distract them, and go to Homeland Security and the bank and the estate agent and the new employer and the electricity provider... Then, when all that's sorted out, they send for the wife and kids, and go off to work.
Being the mom, I couldn't leave the kids in South Africa for four weeks. So we traveled with them, stayed awake when they were awake, tried to anticipate their disturbed appetites. We crammed them into the crappy hotel with us, drove around on the other side of the road with them shouting and complaining in the back, and dragged them along to all sorts of interminably boring official offices. And now they have to get used to Mom not putting them to bed, as I have been all their lives.
A year ago, I was fretting to my dad about the possibility of us leaving when Ariane was only 3 months old. "It won't be so bad," he said dismissively. "My uncle took his wife and 2-week old baby to live in Australia 35 years ago, and he worked and didn't have a problem!" Well, Dad, did it ever occur to you that your uncle didn't carry the baby for nine months, give birth to it, breastfeed it, and carry it for a further 9 months to a year?
I really can't complain - Brad is a super mom-dad, and has no ego issues with being the primary parent. I couldn't ask for more, really. A woman at the mall looked at his Mr. Mom t-shirt and asked me if he lived up to the name. The answer was a sincere "Oh yes!".
I just have to constantly remind myself that our family is strange to some, and not everyone understands our motives. So many people find it hard to believe that Brad is not looking for a job; even more immediately assume he must therefore be a bum. Oh, well, we love our crazy, off-centre family life.
I'm off to bed - gonna give that bum a big thank-you kiss!
So there Brad was, wearing his Mr. Mom t-shirt to boot, and it dawned on me that we have a pretty strange family at the moment. Our roles are fluid and undefined - we're both caregivers, both home makers, both decision makers. I'm the breadwinner, he's the one who does the grocery shopping, and yet the power hasn't shifted. That's probably because it was pretty balanced in the first place. We're both focused on achieving the life we've envisioned, and it doesn't matter who baths the kids and who brings in the paycheck.
Still, being the mom and the working parent has its unique challenges. We're taking turns putting Nikhil to bed at night, because I do need to study (and putting Nikhil to bed takes an hour). He's having trouble accepting it - he says he wants me to put him to bed every night, and it tears my heart out. I feel so guilty for being firm with him, even though I know my alternate contribution to the family is essential.
I still worry that the kids won't be ok if I'm not around - that Brad will forget to feed and water them, or change Ariane's nappy, or whatever, despite all previous evidence that he is actually the more attentive caregiver. Brad suggested I spend the day at the library tomorrow, studying, and my first reaction was, "But will you be ok with the kids?" Um, that's his full-time job from now on...
Travelling here was also more challenging, compared to having the dad as the working parent. We're not the first family to have done it, but things are so much simpler for working dads. They travel alone first, sleep on the plane, and sort out the admin unencumbered when they arrive. They sleep off the jet lag undisturbed, albeit in a crappy hotel. Then they drive around (on the other side of the road) with no-one to distract them, and go to Homeland Security and the bank and the estate agent and the new employer and the electricity provider... Then, when all that's sorted out, they send for the wife and kids, and go off to work.
Being the mom, I couldn't leave the kids in South Africa for four weeks. So we traveled with them, stayed awake when they were awake, tried to anticipate their disturbed appetites. We crammed them into the crappy hotel with us, drove around on the other side of the road with them shouting and complaining in the back, and dragged them along to all sorts of interminably boring official offices. And now they have to get used to Mom not putting them to bed, as I have been all their lives.
A year ago, I was fretting to my dad about the possibility of us leaving when Ariane was only 3 months old. "It won't be so bad," he said dismissively. "My uncle took his wife and 2-week old baby to live in Australia 35 years ago, and he worked and didn't have a problem!" Well, Dad, did it ever occur to you that your uncle didn't carry the baby for nine months, give birth to it, breastfeed it, and carry it for a further 9 months to a year?
I really can't complain - Brad is a super mom-dad, and has no ego issues with being the primary parent. I couldn't ask for more, really. A woman at the mall looked at his Mr. Mom t-shirt and asked me if he lived up to the name. The answer was a sincere "Oh yes!".
I just have to constantly remind myself that our family is strange to some, and not everyone understands our motives. So many people find it hard to believe that Brad is not looking for a job; even more immediately assume he must therefore be a bum. Oh, well, we love our crazy, off-centre family life.
I'm off to bed - gonna give that bum a big thank-you kiss!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Nikhil and the Gumball Machine
It started with 2 pieces of bubblegum in Nikhil's Halloween bucket. He was forbidden from eating them, and I chewed one to show him bubbles. He was so fascinated, he dropped his panda obsession and immediately replaced it with a gum obsession.
As soon as I was done with the gum, I showed him how to spit it out and throw it away, but he wanted me to chew the next one. I promised him I would chew it the next day.
The next morning, he woke up and greeted me with "Mom, do you want your bubblegum now?" He offered it to me about 12 times in the time it took to get dressed and ready for the day.
He now compulsively visits the "G" page on Starfall (his learn-to-read website) because one of the G words is gumball. You choose a coin, and the corresponding number of gumballs roll out of the gumball machine, and a little girl chews and blows a big bubble. After seeing me do it, it finally makes sense to him.
He also discovered gumball machines in Elk Grove, and we are in big trouble if we pass one and don't have a quarter for him to get a gumball! Well, today we went to a mall (first time in America!) and discovered Gumball Heaven:
He's probably dreaming about gumballs right now...
In other news, I am not working yet. I still have to go through loads of background checks etc. I'm just enjoying the time off, although there's not much to do these days. I met my district manager today, and he was really nice - put my mind at ease about a lot of things I was worrying about. I'm really looking forward to starting work - not least because it'll put an end to my constant boredom-eating.
The kids are settling down, now that we are able to give them a better routine. Tonight Nikhil fell asleep before 9:30pm for the first time since we moved in! He gets to do half an hour of "schoolwork" before the clock (not mommy, because you can't argue with the clock) says it's bedtime.
We've been driving around a fair bit in central California, and the impression we get is that every community is a carbon copy of the one before. All the same stores, all the same fast food places, all in similar-looking hubs, can be found stamped along all the similar-looking roads from Elk Grove to San Francisco. It may give a sense of familiarity to some, but it's downright confusing to me, who has no sense of direction and orientation! I keep getting lost because I'm trying to get home from the Walgreen's, but it's not the same Walgreen's I drove past yesterday!
Many of the houses seem to look similar too. We've been looking at houses for sale, and the pictures show houses finished in an identical fashion to the one we live in now! Same kitchen cabinets, same kitchen surfaces, same bathroom surfaces, same light fittings... Maybe there was one big building contractor in Elk Grove 10 years ago who ordered in bulk.
Having said that, we are now certain that Elk Grove is where we want to stay. It has a really pleasant vibe, and it has just the right balance of small town-ness and big city-ness: small town traffic, big city activities. How fortunate that we started out here in the first place.
We had a mini culture shock today. I found a local group of moms advertised on a meet-up website, who get together to explore child-friendly activities in Elk Grove. I thought it would be a good way for Brad to get the kids out and playing with other kids, so I contacted the group and asked if Brad and the kids could join. His application was rejected because the ladies are not comfortable allowing men they don't know to join. So they allow strange women to join and take their kids out, but not dads. In South Africa that's called gender discrimination. Nevermind, I'm not comfortable allowing my children around man-bashers anyway... I just hope all the moms are not so close-minded, otherwise we're going to have some homeschooling challenges.
Cheers for now, folks. May you have a Gumball Heaven day!
As soon as I was done with the gum, I showed him how to spit it out and throw it away, but he wanted me to chew the next one. I promised him I would chew it the next day.
The next morning, he woke up and greeted me with "Mom, do you want your bubblegum now?" He offered it to me about 12 times in the time it took to get dressed and ready for the day.
He now compulsively visits the "G" page on Starfall (his learn-to-read website) because one of the G words is gumball. You choose a coin, and the corresponding number of gumballs roll out of the gumball machine, and a little girl chews and blows a big bubble. After seeing me do it, it finally makes sense to him.
He also discovered gumball machines in Elk Grove, and we are in big trouble if we pass one and don't have a quarter for him to get a gumball! Well, today we went to a mall (first time in America!) and discovered Gumball Heaven:
He's probably dreaming about gumballs right now...
In other news, I am not working yet. I still have to go through loads of background checks etc. I'm just enjoying the time off, although there's not much to do these days. I met my district manager today, and he was really nice - put my mind at ease about a lot of things I was worrying about. I'm really looking forward to starting work - not least because it'll put an end to my constant boredom-eating.
The kids are settling down, now that we are able to give them a better routine. Tonight Nikhil fell asleep before 9:30pm for the first time since we moved in! He gets to do half an hour of "schoolwork" before the clock (not mommy, because you can't argue with the clock) says it's bedtime.
We've been driving around a fair bit in central California, and the impression we get is that every community is a carbon copy of the one before. All the same stores, all the same fast food places, all in similar-looking hubs, can be found stamped along all the similar-looking roads from Elk Grove to San Francisco. It may give a sense of familiarity to some, but it's downright confusing to me, who has no sense of direction and orientation! I keep getting lost because I'm trying to get home from the Walgreen's, but it's not the same Walgreen's I drove past yesterday!
Many of the houses seem to look similar too. We've been looking at houses for sale, and the pictures show houses finished in an identical fashion to the one we live in now! Same kitchen cabinets, same kitchen surfaces, same bathroom surfaces, same light fittings... Maybe there was one big building contractor in Elk Grove 10 years ago who ordered in bulk.
Having said that, we are now certain that Elk Grove is where we want to stay. It has a really pleasant vibe, and it has just the right balance of small town-ness and big city-ness: small town traffic, big city activities. How fortunate that we started out here in the first place.
We had a mini culture shock today. I found a local group of moms advertised on a meet-up website, who get together to explore child-friendly activities in Elk Grove. I thought it would be a good way for Brad to get the kids out and playing with other kids, so I contacted the group and asked if Brad and the kids could join. His application was rejected because the ladies are not comfortable allowing men they don't know to join. So they allow strange women to join and take their kids out, but not dads. In South Africa that's called gender discrimination. Nevermind, I'm not comfortable allowing my children around man-bashers anyway... I just hope all the moms are not so close-minded, otherwise we're going to have some homeschooling challenges.
Cheers for now, folks. May you have a Gumball Heaven day!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The transmutation has begun...
I'm slowly becoming more Americanised. For one thing, I have a Social Security card! (It was a bit of an anti-climax - the "card" is just a perforated piece of paper, and you're not allowed to laminate it!)
I also have a license to practice pharmacy, which is awesome - it means I can start work next week.
Our home is finally kitted out and pretty much complete. All we need now is Brad's fancy schmancy super computer. Oh, and a dining table to replace the camping table Jason and Malissa lent us.
We have checked out most of the "essentials" stores and decided where we'll be doing our shopping. We discovered SF Supermarket today - it's a Chinese supermarket that sells all the Chinese groceries as well as the regular fresh produce. I had to hold Brad's jaw up - he was thrashing about in paroxysms of delight, going "Oh, look! They have FRESH LOTUS ROOT! And so many rice varieties! And Pearl River Bridge GOLD LABEL soy sauce!" It was kind of cute watching him get so excited about food, and the fact that his kids can now grow up with a proper Asian diet.
Oh, and we cleaned our own house today! Imagine that... It only took us two hours. Is that really what we paid our domestic to do? Man, she was there for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week! Ok, I admit, she didn't have an electric dishwasher and clothes dryer. But still, 2 hours compared to 45?
We had Jason, Malissa and Christian over for dinner tonight. It was lovely and convivial, and the food was delicious (thanks Brad and SF Supermarkets!). They left at 8pm, and 20 minutes later the kitchen showed no evidence of a dinner party. Amazing.
Nikhil, Ariane and Christian are so cute together. Christian is learning to crawl, Ariane has just learnt to walk, and Nikhil... well, Nikhil is learning to read to them. Ariane and Christian talk to each other in baby language, and Nikhil reverts to baby language and crawling to fit in. Poor kid, we really need to find him some friends. When Ariane and Christian went to bed, Nikhil sat up working on the computer. We predicted that in 18 years' time, Ariane and Christian would be out clubbing and raising hell, and Nikhil would be sitting in his room hacking into the World Bank.
The kids are taking up all our time and energy right now. They demand constant attention when they're awake, they rarely nap during the day, fight bedtime at night, and even once they fall asleep, they wake up frequently for cuddling or bottles or no reason at all. It's quite exhausting - we have hardly any time to do important admin, never mind have a conversation.
Sigh. Emigrating without kids must be a completely different experience... We would have lived in a smaller, smarter apartment. We would have spent less time doing laundry and more time exploring the city. We would have spent less time packing nappy bags, snacks and extra clothes every time we left the house. We would have eaten seafood in San Francisco instead of packing a wholesome but homely lunch. We wouldn't have had to scope out every destination for toilets the second we arrived.
But in the end, we would have laughed less, loved less, and lived less. So I have no regrets - just an insatiable desire for more sleep...
I also have a license to practice pharmacy, which is awesome - it means I can start work next week.
Our home is finally kitted out and pretty much complete. All we need now is Brad's fancy schmancy super computer. Oh, and a dining table to replace the camping table Jason and Malissa lent us.
We have checked out most of the "essentials" stores and decided where we'll be doing our shopping. We discovered SF Supermarket today - it's a Chinese supermarket that sells all the Chinese groceries as well as the regular fresh produce. I had to hold Brad's jaw up - he was thrashing about in paroxysms of delight, going "Oh, look! They have FRESH LOTUS ROOT! And so many rice varieties! And Pearl River Bridge GOLD LABEL soy sauce!" It was kind of cute watching him get so excited about food, and the fact that his kids can now grow up with a proper Asian diet.
Oh, and we cleaned our own house today! Imagine that... It only took us two hours. Is that really what we paid our domestic to do? Man, she was there for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week! Ok, I admit, she didn't have an electric dishwasher and clothes dryer. But still, 2 hours compared to 45?
We had Jason, Malissa and Christian over for dinner tonight. It was lovely and convivial, and the food was delicious (thanks Brad and SF Supermarkets!). They left at 8pm, and 20 minutes later the kitchen showed no evidence of a dinner party. Amazing.
Nikhil, Ariane and Christian are so cute together. Christian is learning to crawl, Ariane has just learnt to walk, and Nikhil... well, Nikhil is learning to read to them. Ariane and Christian talk to each other in baby language, and Nikhil reverts to baby language and crawling to fit in. Poor kid, we really need to find him some friends. When Ariane and Christian went to bed, Nikhil sat up working on the computer. We predicted that in 18 years' time, Ariane and Christian would be out clubbing and raising hell, and Nikhil would be sitting in his room hacking into the World Bank.
The kids are taking up all our time and energy right now. They demand constant attention when they're awake, they rarely nap during the day, fight bedtime at night, and even once they fall asleep, they wake up frequently for cuddling or bottles or no reason at all. It's quite exhausting - we have hardly any time to do important admin, never mind have a conversation.
Sigh. Emigrating without kids must be a completely different experience... We would have lived in a smaller, smarter apartment. We would have spent less time doing laundry and more time exploring the city. We would have spent less time packing nappy bags, snacks and extra clothes every time we left the house. We would have eaten seafood in San Francisco instead of packing a wholesome but homely lunch. We wouldn't have had to scope out every destination for toilets the second we arrived.
But in the end, we would have laughed less, loved less, and lived less. So I have no regrets - just an insatiable desire for more sleep...
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Two weeks
It’s been a week and a half since we arrived here, and I’m ready to make some pronouncements and judgements on the place.
If I had to describe America in one word, it would be EASY. Life is just designed to be easy and convenient, and one gets the sense that people are carrying on their daily lives without too much effort or struggle.
It seems everybody has a dishwasher. Tumble dryers are the norm, with Wrinkle Release settings to make ironing obsolete. Special cleaning gadgets make housework a breeze, like broom-sized battery-operated vacuum cleaners. Ziploc bags are everywhere, eliminating a lot of washing and storing of plastic containers. Hordes of storage space mean surfaces can be kept clear and easy to clean.
After Halloween we bought bucket loads of candy at ridiculously low clearance prices. We’ve found that certain things are very cheap here – seasonal décor, like Halloween and Christmas décor is extremely cheap, making it quite easy to get into the spirit. Home goods, like kitchen equipment, furniture and appliances are very cheap. Salon services like manicures can be found very cheaply. Good quality toys are also very reasonable and easy to find, whereas in Joburg we couldn’t find decent toys that would last, no matter how much we paid.
We went to Ikea to look for home furnishings. Some Americans are contemptuous of Ikea, but we loved it! The furniture is very European in design (Ikea is a Swedish company), and all the product names are Swedish. The products are all designed to make the most of space, while being environmentally friendly and stylish too. And all the big items come flat-packed for home assembly, which makes transporting them more eco-friendly, and also keeps prices down.
Food is expensive though. You can find well-priced food if you’re willing to look around and eat according to season, and there is a lot of competition between stores. Looking out for specials can save you quite a lot of money, and coupons are substantial. We shop for food every 2-3 days, and each time we save about $7 by shopping for specials and using loyalty cards. If I save $70 a month just by looking at the Sunday flyers, I’m willing to put in the effort!
The people are incredibly open and friendly. People will just strike up a conversation in the supermarket aisles. And Walmart is definitely a weirdo-magnet! It’s just like the People of Walmart website says it is! We never see weird people in Elk Grove, but in Walmart, every third person is a weirdo!
The kids have discovered applesauce, and munch through a pound a day. I suppose it’s better than chips or cakes…
I had a great internet shopping experience today. We decided to get a double stroller for the kids, so I looked it up on Craigslist, found one for $20 ($20!!!) and drove 4 minutes up the road to pick it up. I was thrilled – it was practically unused!
Next week we’re planning a trip to the Asian quarter to find Chinese supplies, and to San Francisco. Exciting times!
If I had to describe America in one word, it would be EASY. Life is just designed to be easy and convenient, and one gets the sense that people are carrying on their daily lives without too much effort or struggle.
It seems everybody has a dishwasher. Tumble dryers are the norm, with Wrinkle Release settings to make ironing obsolete. Special cleaning gadgets make housework a breeze, like broom-sized battery-operated vacuum cleaners. Ziploc bags are everywhere, eliminating a lot of washing and storing of plastic containers. Hordes of storage space mean surfaces can be kept clear and easy to clean.
After Halloween we bought bucket loads of candy at ridiculously low clearance prices. We’ve found that certain things are very cheap here – seasonal décor, like Halloween and Christmas décor is extremely cheap, making it quite easy to get into the spirit. Home goods, like kitchen equipment, furniture and appliances are very cheap. Salon services like manicures can be found very cheaply. Good quality toys are also very reasonable and easy to find, whereas in Joburg we couldn’t find decent toys that would last, no matter how much we paid.
We went to Ikea to look for home furnishings. Some Americans are contemptuous of Ikea, but we loved it! The furniture is very European in design (Ikea is a Swedish company), and all the product names are Swedish. The products are all designed to make the most of space, while being environmentally friendly and stylish too. And all the big items come flat-packed for home assembly, which makes transporting them more eco-friendly, and also keeps prices down.
Food is expensive though. You can find well-priced food if you’re willing to look around and eat according to season, and there is a lot of competition between stores. Looking out for specials can save you quite a lot of money, and coupons are substantial. We shop for food every 2-3 days, and each time we save about $7 by shopping for specials and using loyalty cards. If I save $70 a month just by looking at the Sunday flyers, I’m willing to put in the effort!
The people are incredibly open and friendly. People will just strike up a conversation in the supermarket aisles. And Walmart is definitely a weirdo-magnet! It’s just like the People of Walmart website says it is! We never see weird people in Elk Grove, but in Walmart, every third person is a weirdo!
The kids have discovered applesauce, and munch through a pound a day. I suppose it’s better than chips or cakes…
I had a great internet shopping experience today. We decided to get a double stroller for the kids, so I looked it up on Craigslist, found one for $20 ($20!!!) and drove 4 minutes up the road to pick it up. I was thrilled – it was practically unused!
Next week we’re planning a trip to the Asian quarter to find Chinese supplies, and to San Francisco. Exciting times!
Halloween
Sunday was our first Halloween.
The Friday before Halloween, Malissa and Nikhil carved pumpkins. Nikhil tried hard not to compulsively wash his hands while scooping out the slippery insides and seeds. We roasted the seeds, which were delicious. Then Malissa managed to carve some impressive jack-o-lanterns with just a big kitchen knife, without slicing Nikhil’s fingers, which were always in the way. On Halloween night we put candles in the pumpkins, and they looked fantastic.
Halloween night was magical – the streets were transformed into a fantasia of witches and zombies and fairies. The jack-o-lanterns glowing in the gardens, the children running up and down the streets, the masked monsters answering the doors to hand out candy – it made me want to be a kid again.
We dressed the kids up – Nikhil was an American Indian, and Ariane wore her birthday Rock Star outfit. They went trick-or-treating with Christian (Jason and Malissa’s 7-month old son) who was adorable in a cow outfit. We just let Nikhil hold a candy bucket, not Ariane, and he came home with WAY too much candy! We put it in the cupboard and he’s allowed to choose one piece a day (although he always ends up having two). At night Brad and I raid the bucket and substantially reduce the stash. We consider it our duty to limit the amount of sugar our children consume. Ahem.
I had a moment when a big bunch of kids stood at a door in front of us, and the owner opened the door and the kids shouted “Trick or treat!” – I suddenly realized that I’m in America! That was when it truly hit me.
We thoroughly enjoyed the first event of the holiday season. Looking forward to Thanksgiving now...
Moving in
On Saturday, Jason and Malissa decided enough was enough, and moved us out of our hotel room in super-quick time.
We entered our house and instantly everyone was happier. The kids have space to run around, we have space to cook and do laundry and spread ourselves out, and there are no neighbours to worry about when the kids shout and bump their toys into the walls.
Our only obstacle to moving into the house was the fact that we owned nothing – no beds, no linen, no plates… Nothing. Our money was still being held by Visa for two incomplete transactions, so we couldn’t even buy anything. As usual, though, the Benades came to the rescue. Malissa put the word out that there was a family from Africa who had nothing, and the aid came pouring in. Between Jason and Malissa, Malissa’s parents and some of their friends, they practically furnished our house. We got a perfectly good washer and dryer set (that’s washing machine and tumble dryer in South African), a microwave, beds, linen, curtains, coffee table, dining table and chairs, crockery, cutlery, non-perishable food… Malissa’s mother even threw in 2 boxes of cake mix, plus the mixing bowl, whisk and cake tin! And all that cost us not one cent. The house came equipped with a stove and fridge, so we were totally equipped from Day 1. They saved us tons of money, and we are so grateful. We were then able to go buy extras to make ourselves more comfortable. Someone even offered us a TV, but we declined – we still don’t want a TV in our home, not even in America. Especially not in America.
The house is equipped with all the amenities Americans consider standard – air conditioning, gas stove, dishwasher, electric garage doors, bathroom humidity extractors, garbage disposal in the kitchen sink… and no burglar bars or perimeter fences. It’s a bit strange to have the constant hum of appliances as a backdrop to everyday activities – if the dryer is not humming, the air conditioning is, or the bathroom extractor, or the dishwasher. I feel like an electricity monster – we turned our air conditioner off while it’s still so warm.
The kids are having so much fun in the house. They tear up and down the house shrieking and laughing, jumping on all the luggage and linen that were piled up on the floor. They feed each other and imitate each other. Ariane has finally started walking!
We took them to the park behind our house today. It’s beautiful and stimulating and full of kids, and I can see them finding new things to do there every day for at least a couple of months. On the way back home we checked our post box. It’s a lockable box on the corner of our street, along with about 10 other post boxes. There’s a separate box for you to post your mail out, and you can even request the postman to drop stamps in your post box, so you never have to go to the post office! No wonder so many things are done by mail here – the postal system actually works!
We live in a little cul-de-sac, there are only about 6 houses on our road. Today an elderly lady came by on her bicycle (clearly just riding for pleasure) and waved to us as we cleaned out our garage.
We’re still getting accustomed to a lot of things here, but now we’re really starting to enjoy ourselves and have fun.
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